Monday, October 20, 2014

After the Adultery

Question: Is it okay to ask a woman to focus more on her career/raising her kids after finding out about her husband's infidelity as a 'coping mechanism'?

 

My answer: I have thought about this issue for a while now and this is my submission.

In my opinion, the counsel itself is not healthy. I think it encourages the woman to remain bitter as the root cause is not addressed. God did not ordain marriage to be so from the beginning. We should not be 'coping'.

In my opinion, if the man is repentant, the woman should cooperate with restoration (I think it should be at the woman's pace, not the man's or the children or whoever. I think they owe her that). If the man is unrepentant, I think the woman can choose to leave and remain unmarried, without bitterness (That is my understanding of the Biblical position) or remain and pray for him till he comes to repentance. 

For the man that is repentant and willing to work on the marriage, I believe they should both seek counsel and resolve whatever issues led to the adultery in the first place. Please don't get me wrong, the man is the main offender.  However, there may be things the woman did/did not do to open the door. This does not in anyway absolve the man of his guilt. Counselling will help them uncover the issues and hopefully, get to a point where the marriage is healthy again. I have a lot to write on this but that's not the focus of the post.

I believe the woman should do the recommended things NORMALLY. The extra should be focused on God and the advancement of His kingdom and the restoration of her marriage (if she chooses to go for restoration).

I realise that what I'm saying is not easy for humans. But we were not asked as believers to live by our power in the first place. Jesus said that anyone that would follow Him has to take up his/her cross DAILY. As believers, we are to live by the Spirit. Even Jesus had to offer His supreme sacrifice by the Spirit.
In my opinion, the coping mechanism is the human answer to the issue not the Spirit's. I'll get off the podium now. #SermonOver. Lol

No comments:

Post a Comment