My answer: I have thought about this issue for a while
now and this is my submission.
In my opinion, the counsel itself is not healthy. I think
it encourages the woman to remain bitter as the root cause is not addressed.
God did not ordain marriage to be so from the beginning. We should not be
'coping'.
In my opinion, if the man is repentant, the woman should
cooperate with restoration (I think it should be at the woman's pace, not the
man's or the children or whoever. I think they owe her that). If the man is
unrepentant, I think the woman can choose to leave and remain unmarried,
without bitterness (That is my understanding of the Biblical position) or
remain and pray for him till he comes to repentance.
For the man that is repentant and willing to work on the
marriage, I believe they should both seek counsel and resolve whatever issues
led to the adultery in the first place. Please don't get me wrong, the man is
the main offender. However, there may be
things the woman did/did not do to open the door. This does not in anyway
absolve the man of his guilt. Counselling will help them uncover the issues and
hopefully, get to a point where the marriage is healthy again. I have a lot to
write on this but that's not the focus of the post.
I believe the woman should do the recommended things
NORMALLY. The extra should be focused on God and the advancement of His kingdom
and the restoration of her marriage (if she chooses to go for restoration).
I realise that what I'm saying is not easy for humans.
But we were not asked as believers to live by our power in the first place.
Jesus said that anyone that would follow Him has to take up his/her cross
DAILY. As believers, we are to live by the Spirit. Even Jesus had to offer His
supreme sacrifice by the Spirit.
In my opinion, the coping mechanism is the human
answer to the issue not the Spirit's. I'll get off the podium now. #SermonOver.
Lol
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